Father’s Day 2016, Lessons my father has taught me .
I woke up at 6 am with an amazing urge to write this note.
I did not really know I had a dad until I arrived in Canada when I was 5 years old. My dad had come to Canada to establish himself before we arrived. I wondered who is this man was that was buying me and my brother Legos and other toys and sleeping in my mother’s room.
My dad is like a sage to me he never showed anger or shouted or hit us as boys but he had our full respect and attention.
-Soft-spoken but always got our attention.
-Refers to me and my big brother as Good Sons and we called him Good Dad.
-Maintains a positive attitude and looks on the bright side; always trying to help people when possible
-Particularly good at fixing cars and heating problems at people’s homes. Helping others always gave him a sense of gratification.
-A good listener and gave good feedback in a kind and gentle way.
What he taught me:
-It takes two to have a fight or an argument so try to avoid arguments within your family and friends.
~Steel Boys never get tired. Being tired and lazy is mostly a state of mind.-If you have to fart while driving, roll down your window 1/2 inch it will act as a vacum and suck all the bad air out.
-To be honest with myself. This was Illustrated once when I caught my son lying and I told my dad to tell my son not to lie. Instead of saying that he told him that everybody lies and that is the actual truth. The truth is that everybody has lied. This is a long topic and I can get into it later.
-Joking and playing are fun and it’s okay to laugh at oneself.
-He showed me how to make things better in the different areas of my life , like health, wealth, relationships and knowledge and service.
-He let me win our running races and had me convinced I was the fastest kid in grade one to three.
-He taught me and my brother whatever career you choose, make sure you’re the best at it. He taught me to love art and photography and to appreciate nature, science and mechanical things.
-He showed me what unconditional love and kindness and support mean. He taught me how to be an inspirational dad that lives his life with passion laughter and humour. I hope I can teach some of this stuff to my two boys.
~It’s okay to admire Beauty. It’s okay and natural to look at a beautiful woman walking on the street while driving his car, even if Mom is right beside you.
Lessons I’ve learned from my two boys on being a DAD:
-Life is fun stop being so serious.
-Enjoy the present moments with me. They taught me to look into there eyes because they are always changing and growing. Really see and look at them.
-There’s always time to play and laugh and be goofy everyday.
-Be supportive but give them space especially when they become teenagers. A lot of times they need to learn from their own mistakes to understand things better. At the same time they need clear boundaries to avoid life-critical errors that may possibly jeopardize their safety and health.
-Be supportive positive and be practical. Boys need other role models, introduce them to other positive men that have a different style of raising children.
~Hip hop music sounds better loud!
– Stop being so judgemental, (I’m still working on this). The more you love someone the more judgement and expectations creep into to the relationship. Which can lead to more pain and disappointment. Try to let things go. Everything is going to work out at the end. Don’t baby them. Let them make their mistakes so they can learn from there hardship and have the greatest gift a parent can give a child, which I think is positive self-esteem.This comes from overcoming challenges. Positive self esteem doesn’t mean arrogance and entitlement, it means to be confident yet humble and being Who You Are. Introduce them to new ideas, books, places, and people. This is just the tip of the iceberg on my lessons of being a dad I’m sure I’ll have many more challenges to learn from.
My parents and two boys have been the greatest blessing and gift I have ever received in my life.